Brain is fried from porn and internet

I was able to get 12 days off of porn / masturbation but then I relapsed. Since then I’ve only been able to go one day

My longest streak EVER was 14 days. This addiction has chained me for like 11 years and I hate it to death

I can go without porn, that’s easy, but not masturbation. I feel amazing though when I’m on a streak

What’s more insidious though is the scrolling. I cannot put down the Youtube / internet, it’s like I’m frozen to it in a state of perpetual apprehension. I’ve been writing on paper now, which helps a lot, and I now keep my phone at home incl. when I’m at work. There I actually get stuff done on my writing.

But if I have the day off, like today, I never get anything done. It’s always maintenance stuff like doing laundry or getting groceries. The most insidious part about it is that you just sort of forget you’re doing it and it sucks you deeper and deeper into the hole, where you feel guilty for having wasted time and thus more likely to block it out again

I need help changing :frowning:

Of course one thing I keep in mind however is that the only thing I’m procrastinating is really writing – which is completely understandable. I have NO issues with drawing – at least not in the same way. Writing is frustrating and tedious – unless I’m rambling as I am here

Well. Gotta keep trying! :smile:

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Stay strong bro YOU CAN DO IT!

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The best thing I’ve learned as far as No-Fap is to just commit to No-Porn. Allow yourself a fap but just try and keep it down to once a week or once a month and try and use a fantasy about a girl you know and want to start a relationship with so there is some kind of mental work being done towards a tangible and not just useless dopamine drain. That being said I don’t think its super healthy to just no fap indefinitely if you plan on having a healthy sex life with a woman in the future. If you are planning on becoming a monk in a spiritual tradition this is different because you’ll be consigning yourself to celibacy and killing off the passions indefinitely is the goal. In a relationship with a healthy sex life, which I think should be a goal, try not to fap.

As far as getting healthier and better at goals like reducing scrolling and increasing writing, there is sum self help type shit that really works granted you do it. It’s kinda related to the no-fap thing. Trying to cut all bad behavior cold turkey without some respite is a recipe for disaster. Your mind and your will are like your muscles. If you were training on all the major lifts you wouldn’t do it all at the same time on the same day in the beginning. You start with Bench Press on a low weight and work your way up. You have to periodize your goals. So for instance with scrolling on your day off. On your day off you are gonna want to scroll a bit, plug into the world, text homies, read the feed, etc. When you wake up do something healthy first like exercise or meditate. Then make some tea or breakfast, set up an intentional space or zone to scroll and phone time. Set a timer for 1 hour and just have at it. The timer externalizes the will so you don’t have to worry about deciding to stop internally, the intentional space makes it so that you aren’t just laying in bed. I think scrolling really depletes the decision centers in the brain, causes decision fatigue essentially from millions of micro decisions that are subconscious. This is just something that’s helped me.

Ok final advice from someone who has to do a shit ton of creative work to meet deadlines. The Pomodoro technique, setting a timer for 25 minutes of pure writing time, then 5 minutes of fuck off, stretch, short video, snack, etc. This works wonders if you want to force yourself to write or do creative work say in a non-creative environment or mood. The other method is crucifying your normal comfort routine for the sake of your art and this a little more complex. Essentially I think the most creative work comes from really stepping out of normal routine and then editing in a normal state. For instance stay up late as shit, drink a bunch of red bull, go skating at like 3 in the morning, go to a open late walmart, ride the subway or bus, walk around your downtown area late at night, drive to the next state over. Do all this shit solo and bring a pad and just jot down everything that flows out. I find this really helpful to be alone but not in my house.

There actually is one more thing, find a God to believe in, try and intentionally find the truest God and pray to him for help. Essentially just go inside, find what you believe is the highest good, then go outside yourself and communicate with that good and ask for help and grace and guidance when you don’t have any of that yourself.

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Here’s the best advice I can give you, after having dealt with the same addiction for fourteen years.

  1. Disconnect emotionally from porn. You’re using pornography as a substitute for real relationships with real women, which means you are emotionally invested in it. It really sucks to realize and admit to yourself that you’re in love with pixels on a computer screen, but you are, and you need to let it go. When you get rid of the emotional attachment, you will see porn as just what it is: a drug. It’s nothing more than that, and it will become easier to avoid. Believe me, I’m going through it right now. I’ve finally become completely emotionally detached from porn in the last few months. My relapses are getting less frequent, cravings are getting easier to handle, and when I do relapse, I experience almost no negative emotional/mental effects. No brain fog, no self-hate or self-loathing or beating myself up. I shrug it off and forget about it in a day or two, which is really no time at all considering how long I’ve been battling this addiction. This is finally putting the nail in the coffin for my addiction. It’s that important, for real. I can say with confidence now that this year will be the last year I struggle with this addiction, and it’s because I’ve let go of the emotional attachment to porn.

  2. You need to actually KNOW and FEEL that you can change. Saying you want to change and be different is one thing. Actually believing it and knowing it are different. You don’t want to be one of those people who bitches about problems just to get sympathy and then makes no effort. Don’t get me wrong, you don’t seem like that kind of person. I’m not implying that this thread is just to complain for sympathy either. I’m just saying, make sure that there is no doubt in your mind that you don’t have to continue to be the way you are. You are not doomed, and you are not a failure. You have to know these things 100%.

  3. Change the narrative in your head. This is the practical part of implementing the advice. You’ve heard “fake it till you make it,” right? It’s not just a dumb saying. It works if you do it. In your head, you tell yourself one thing for so long that you come to believe it’s true. Change that repeated narrative, and you’ll change yourself and the way you think and feel about yourself. It’s up to you to find out what that narrative is, and what you need to do differently to set about changing it.

  4. Don’t just replace porn with other activities, make sure those activities are just as satisfying as porn. People say “just do something else” and they think that’s enough. It isn’t. Watching porn is releasing an enormous amount of dopamine in your brain, because it acts like a drug. It is your drug. You use it when you feel stressed, sad, happy, depressed, whatever. You need to find an activity or activities that will be just as satisfying. It’s going to be hard, but it can be done. A big one for me is meditating. I’ve been doing it daily for about 345 days now, and it’s worked wonders. It helps me to manage my emotions and how to react when my emotions get stronger. Another activity for me that gives me a good dopamine rush (but in a healthy way) is searching for new music. There’s nothing harmful about cruising through spotify or youtube, searching for another band or song that’s going to hit the spot like old favorites do. It’s exactly the same dopamine rush, and there’s no harm done. I have other things too, of course, but those are what work best for me.

You have to know yourself pretty well. If you don’t know yourself well already, take some time alone to go do it. Take long walks where you won’t see a lot of people. Take time to really turn your problems over in your head, and work to solve them in a logical manner.

I hope this helps a little. There’s nothing I hate more than this problem that’s afflicting so many young men. It hurts when I hear about other people going through it, and I really like trying to help people overcome it. If you ever need to talk to someone directly, you can message me on here, or email me. I would get a notification on my phone if you emailed me, and I could get back to you quick. If you want it let me know.

Don’t ever forget that you can get over this. You can be better than what you were, and what you are. You can change. I know it. You should know it too.

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Ty

as someone who doesn’t do no-fap or no-porn, stay strong man. you cand o it :smiley:

yo is this thee corpowor4ld. You still making music Man?

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i banned him :confused:

How come?

Nevermind I remember

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I have the exact same problem, and its gotten way worse since ive started living on my own during Corona time. There’s a lot of great advice in this thread but ive found that what really helps me is writing in my journal, I try to do it as often as I can but sometimes I forget to for days on end and notice my old habits coming back during that time, the journal is just personal thoughts and drawings but even when its just inane bullshit I feel so much better just getting it down on paper.

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