You’re going to find what I’m about to say very weird, and you may not even believe me at first. This is on the same level of importance as knowing that progress isn’t linear.
You don’t need to learn to hate porn. You already hate it. You need to stop hating porn. Hate is going to hinder your progress more than anything else. You aren’t ending your porn addiction because you hate porn, you’re ending it because you love yourself and your life, and you know you could be doing better things with it.
The more you hate, the longer you’re going to be caught in an addiction cycle. Because if you hate porn, you’re going to hate it when you watch it, and then you’re going to hate yourself and put yourself down even more, which is going to drive you towards consuming more porn to make yourself feel better. So you hate porn, but you’re watching it, which makes you hate yourself…
And it’ll go on like that for fourteen years if you let it. That’s how long I’ve been dealing with it, and I’ve never made better progress than when I stopped hating porn, and just began to view it as nothing more than a drug. I do the same thing with alcohol. I don’t hate alcohol itself, I just don’t like consuming it and feeling drunk and sick. So I stopped hating it and just forgot about it. It’s now been over three years since I’ve had a drink.
Right now, I’m doing the 90 day NoFap challenge thing. I know that I will end up viewing pornography sometime in the near future. I’ve just been at this for so long that I know myself well, and I know I go on autopilot sometimes when I’m on the internet. I’m going to do my best, but whenever it happens that my hands get away from me and start searching for pictures, I’m not going to get angry and hate myself. I’m going to close the tab, take a deep breath, and forgive myself that small transgression, and then go about my day.
That is absolutely hands down the best approach you can take. Last year was an easy year for me when dealing with this addiction, and this year has been even easier. The amount of porn I’ve consumed in the last six months is less than the amount of porn I used to watch in a month when I was 18
This is something I learned along the way, as well. Sometimes the feelings associated with giving up a drug can be hard to deal with, no doubt. But simply not consuming porn is not difficult. In fact, you’re not consuming it for the majority of the time.
Dealing with the feelings that come from not consuming it can be difficult. You have to stop resisting those feelings and just let them come and go. This is hard to explain. I learned more about that by meditating than by reading anything, so I don’t know how to exactly convey that. The reason you have a porn addiction is because the drugs make you feel good when you feel bad. You have to accept that sometimes, life is going to make you feel bad, and embrace that feeling instead of wanting to get rid of it. Eventually, you will come to know that feeling so well, that when it comes on, you can let it pass as easily and as quickly as it came.